28 Weeks and Fetal Echocardiogram #2
Yesterday we had yet another fetal echocardiogram at The Hospital for Sick Children. It was our second of three of these tests and the results were promising. We have been slightly upgraded from Interrupted Aortic Arch to Coarctation of the Aorta. This means that instead of the aortic arch being completely blocked, it is simply narrow; severely narrowed according to the cardiologist but at least it is still open. While this doesn't change the type of surgery our little girl will need once she is born, they did tell us that they expect her to be more stable and spend less time in Critical Care. I am considering yesterday's appointment a win and am confident that we will all get through this.
I still have several things to get through and work out in the next 12 weeks but both the hospital where I will deliver and the one where our baby girl will stay are walking me through each step. My appointments are now every two weeks and we have a plan in place for delivery. We are going to tentatively schedule a c-section as close to my due date as possible. This will give my body a chance to go into labour and try to deliver her naturally but if it doesn't happen, then I'm not worried about it. The women in my family don't tend to do well with childbirth and I am not looking for a repeat of my first daughter's birth which ended in an emergency c-section, an infection and an allergic reaction. I want to make sure I'm as healthy as possible because my baby girl needs me to be.
We will also be moving forward with our application to Ronald McDonald House which will allow my husband and I to stay in the city and close to the hospital. This, coupled with the news we got from the cardiologist, has left me feeling hopeful about how things will play out. We still have one major unknown that won't be answered until after our daughter is born and that is how the surgery will be performed. Because we are dealing with the vessels at the top of the heart, the surgical team may be able to avoid opening our daughter's chest and instead go through the side. This is less invasive for obvious reasons but the thing that stuck out the most to me was that going through the side will mean they don't have to stop her heart and have her on bypass while they perform the surgery. The cardiologist we saw said they can't tell us for sure until they do an echocardiogram on her once she's born in order to get exact measurements but that we should hope for the best. So that is what we will do. Almost everything else seems to be set into motion but I will pray everyday that this is the surgical option given to us when the time comes and try not to think about the alternative.
It feels strange to be relieved when we will still be going through a heart surgery, the CCU and a significant hospital stay. I can't really put into words how I felt both happy and extremely sad, especially when we had a tour of the CCU and cardiac wing of Sick Kids, otherwise known as 4D. All of the tests we have gone through and the information we have been given has felt like an issue we will have to deal with at some point. The more time that passes, however, the more I realize that this is actually happening. In a way, my entire pregnancy has a dark cloud over it and I'm worried that all I will feel is fear of the unknown instead of the excitement I should be feeling at bringing a new baby into this world. It is a daily struggle not to let the fear consume me. This is not how I want to remember my pregnancy. I want to enjoy the kicks and the cravings and watching my belly grow before my eyes. I want to laugh when my 2 1/2 year old kisses my tummy and says "hi baby sister" instead of getting a lump in my throat. Mostly I want to look forward to having my newborn daughter placed in my arms instead of being whisked away for tests and to be put on medication to keep her heart functioning properly. But I am choosing not to dwell on those things. I am choosing to look forward to her life. I may not be able to hold her right away but because of all the tests and things I have experienced, I WILL get to hold her and love her and raise her.
So you keep doing your job baby girl, and Mommy will keep doing hers. You grow and kick and fight and I will make sure everything runs as smoothly as possible. Daddy and I are making sure you get the best care possible and we cannot wait to meet our little heart warrior.
I still have several things to get through and work out in the next 12 weeks but both the hospital where I will deliver and the one where our baby girl will stay are walking me through each step. My appointments are now every two weeks and we have a plan in place for delivery. We are going to tentatively schedule a c-section as close to my due date as possible. This will give my body a chance to go into labour and try to deliver her naturally but if it doesn't happen, then I'm not worried about it. The women in my family don't tend to do well with childbirth and I am not looking for a repeat of my first daughter's birth which ended in an emergency c-section, an infection and an allergic reaction. I want to make sure I'm as healthy as possible because my baby girl needs me to be.
We will also be moving forward with our application to Ronald McDonald House which will allow my husband and I to stay in the city and close to the hospital. This, coupled with the news we got from the cardiologist, has left me feeling hopeful about how things will play out. We still have one major unknown that won't be answered until after our daughter is born and that is how the surgery will be performed. Because we are dealing with the vessels at the top of the heart, the surgical team may be able to avoid opening our daughter's chest and instead go through the side. This is less invasive for obvious reasons but the thing that stuck out the most to me was that going through the side will mean they don't have to stop her heart and have her on bypass while they perform the surgery. The cardiologist we saw said they can't tell us for sure until they do an echocardiogram on her once she's born in order to get exact measurements but that we should hope for the best. So that is what we will do. Almost everything else seems to be set into motion but I will pray everyday that this is the surgical option given to us when the time comes and try not to think about the alternative.
It feels strange to be relieved when we will still be going through a heart surgery, the CCU and a significant hospital stay. I can't really put into words how I felt both happy and extremely sad, especially when we had a tour of the CCU and cardiac wing of Sick Kids, otherwise known as 4D. All of the tests we have gone through and the information we have been given has felt like an issue we will have to deal with at some point. The more time that passes, however, the more I realize that this is actually happening. In a way, my entire pregnancy has a dark cloud over it and I'm worried that all I will feel is fear of the unknown instead of the excitement I should be feeling at bringing a new baby into this world. It is a daily struggle not to let the fear consume me. This is not how I want to remember my pregnancy. I want to enjoy the kicks and the cravings and watching my belly grow before my eyes. I want to laugh when my 2 1/2 year old kisses my tummy and says "hi baby sister" instead of getting a lump in my throat. Mostly I want to look forward to having my newborn daughter placed in my arms instead of being whisked away for tests and to be put on medication to keep her heart functioning properly. But I am choosing not to dwell on those things. I am choosing to look forward to her life. I may not be able to hold her right away but because of all the tests and things I have experienced, I WILL get to hold her and love her and raise her.
So you keep doing your job baby girl, and Mommy will keep doing hers. You grow and kick and fight and I will make sure everything runs as smoothly as possible. Daddy and I are making sure you get the best care possible and we cannot wait to meet our little heart warrior.
Comments
Post a Comment