And Baby Makes Five!
In the time since my last blog post, we have found out we are expecting our third baby (yikes!) and moved into our new house. Busy doesn't even come close to describing life these days. And since my blog is all about honesty, I'm going to tell you how I felt when I first discovered I was pregnant. I was not happy. In fact, I was terrified. Faith was only 14 months and the trauma of my last pregnancy and beginning of her life was still very fresh in my mind and heart. I did not want to go through that again. It took me a long time to accept and then feel happy about another baby.
I am now about 5 months along and my feelings have definitely changed. This baby (gender unknown) is healing me from the inside out. I have some deep scars on my mama heart and can feel them slowly fading.
So many people have asked us if we are hoping for a boy this time. I typically just smile and say no but here's what I really want to say. We are "hoping" for a healthy baby. We are "hoping" that this baby has a good strong heart and won't require any intervention. We are "hoping" to hold this baby as soon as he or she is born instead of having it whisked away to another hospital. I am "hoping" to bond over breastfeeding while we get to know each other, instead of pumping every two hours even after I was blistered and bleeding so that nurses could put those precious drops of colostrum or breast milk into my child's feeding tube. We are "hoping" to welcome our newest addition without the stress of signing consent forms for surgery. Most of all, I am "hoping" to end the child-bearing chapter of my life in a positive way, the way it is supposed to be.
Whether this baby is a boy or if we are adding another girl to our family just doesn't matter. He or she will know our love, our patience, our understanding and that they were what I needed most, even before I knew it myself.
I am now about 5 months along and my feelings have definitely changed. This baby (gender unknown) is healing me from the inside out. I have some deep scars on my mama heart and can feel them slowly fading.
So many people have asked us if we are hoping for a boy this time. I typically just smile and say no but here's what I really want to say. We are "hoping" for a healthy baby. We are "hoping" that this baby has a good strong heart and won't require any intervention. We are "hoping" to hold this baby as soon as he or she is born instead of having it whisked away to another hospital. I am "hoping" to bond over breastfeeding while we get to know each other, instead of pumping every two hours even after I was blistered and bleeding so that nurses could put those precious drops of colostrum or breast milk into my child's feeding tube. We are "hoping" to welcome our newest addition without the stress of signing consent forms for surgery. Most of all, I am "hoping" to end the child-bearing chapter of my life in a positive way, the way it is supposed to be.
Whether this baby is a boy or if we are adding another girl to our family just doesn't matter. He or she will know our love, our patience, our understanding and that they were what I needed most, even before I knew it myself.
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