Secondary Infertility

"Just relax" "Have fun" "Don't think about it and it will happen". These are all things I heard while on the journey to conceiving our second child. But as the months passed and we still weren't pregnant, those 'helpful' tips became more frustrating and harder to hear. I was constantly calculating how old our daughter would be by the time she had a sibling if we got pregnant this month, or next month or the month after that. And I felt this sense of failure as a woman, a wife and a mother that I was unable to give my husband another child, or my daughter a sibling. As a species, woman are incredibly hard on themselves and I was no different. In hindsight, I'm aware that being in that state mentally did not help me in the slightest but I simply could not help it.

Around 6 months into trying, I spoke to my family doctor who told me to wait a few more months and then he would send a referreal to a specialist. A few months later I found myself back in his office and he finally agreed that I should get checked out. It took months to get an appointment and then some timed tests before we discovered that I wasn't ovulating every month. We decided to try a medication (similar to Clomid) and I was to come back the following month with my blood work results once I started the medication.

I was happy to finally have a plan and I eagerly awaited the arrival of my period. Except it never came. After all the stress and worry and appointments over the previous 14 months, I was finally pregnant. Go figure. Women's bodies are a mystery and although I am one, I will never try to understand how they work.

I have learned that if a friend ever spoke to me about a difficulty conceiving, I will never respond with "just relax, have fun or don't think about it and it will happen". Although meant to be helpful, it just isn't. Especially coming from those who are blessed with children.